The Essence of Romancing (Part 2)

     I heard a story a few months ago and it went something like this...

     One day there was a woman who although didn't have "everything" she led quite the blessed life. She arrived at her stable job on a certain morning only to find out she had forgotten to buy bread the day before so she could make a sandwich for lunch.
     Later on that glorious sunny day, during her lunch break, she made a run to the grocers, parked her car, walked into the store, and stopped. Now have you ever had a gut feeling about something that you can't explain? Well she had one and for some weird reason felt like she needed to go to the left of the store instead of the right but that didn't make any sense because the food section was to the right.
     After contemplating a few seconds she decided to walk left and soon found herself in the diaper aisle. Over at the far end, on the right, was another woman standing alone picking out a package of diapers. "Oh dear God no. I can't! That would be to embarrassing! Turn around and don't look back." The woman kept telling herself because inside a calm Voice was telling her that the other woman needed to know she was loved and special. "Serious?! I'm going to look like an insanity case!" But still the Voice would not let up.
     The first woman finally found herself walking slowly toward the woman with the too-loose jeans and uncombed hair. "Uh, excuse me. Hi." The second woman looked toward the first woman who immediately looked away. "Seriously girl, don't do this to yourself." But there had been something in the second woman's eyes as they had made eye contact even for only a second. "Uh hi. Well I..." The first woman forced a smile at the stone cold face staring back at her. "I, well... Um you see I wanted to, uh... well I just wanted to tell you that you are loved." Shock registered in the second woman's eyes. "Oh I know this sounds weird but I just need to tell you that Jesus loves you deeply and there are still people that care for you and love you, no matter how you feel right now or what you might have heard ok." After a few awkward seconds that seemed like hours, a flood came. A flood of tears swept over the second woman as she collapsed into a heap on the floor. Finally she whispered, "Why did you say that?" "I honestly don't know but I'm sure it's true." The first woman answered back. "My husband just left me and I have a son. Since I've had to take care of him I lost my job. I've been so depressed recently and just want to give up on life. The only thing I have left to live for is my baby but I feel so alone. I grew up in the church but with everything that's happened to me, I've doubted that God is real or cares about a nobody like me. So I've been praying that if He's real that He would somehow just tell me He's still there for me; that I am loved. And then you came along..."

     Did you know God can romance you? He can share His love through song or billboard or a stranger. When we "romance" someone, when we express emotion (either our own or God's through us), to make someone feel loved or special, God is glorified.
     In marriage, I've found that sometimes it takes guts to romance your husband (or wife). It takes humility to put yourself last and to think of another. It takes courage to express emotion and put your feelings out in the open for some to treasure or destroy.
     But it also takes guts and courage and humility to accept these things as well. Each moment and encounter is a gift to be treasured and respected. There are mornings I wake up and rediscover that I'm not worthy of unconditional love, whether its from Jon or God.

     Lately I have to admit I've been a little lonely at times. I don't know anybody in this new city I'm in and when my dear Jon has to work different hours than me it gets super quiet around our apartment and its not really that fun lol. But I've just come to realize that I'm being romanced. Romanced by a God who loves me and wants to express that love but I haven't been willing to receive it. I've been filling quiet with the noise of TV or laundry or errands but now I'm ready to experience the romance in the spiritual relationship Jesus and I share. Its always hard for me to ask for help or accept it when it's given but that's a vital part of any relationship. So I say whether its the hamburger, a kind word, flowers, or a romantic getaway there needs to be a little more romancing in this world!

The Essence of Romancing (Part 1)

Romancing: The art of expressing emotion in such a way that someone feels loved and special.

     Saturday evening I had the privilege of kidnapping Jon! It had been a spontaneous idea but the past week had been kind of stressful and long and it had been quite a few months since our honeymoon in Jamaica so we'd been wanting to take a vacation somewhere. I wanted it to be super special, unique, and fun but within a reasonable budget (since Christmas is coming up, ya know!).
     I made all the arrangements on Friday while Jon was at work and then just waited for Saturday to arrive. I began to get super nervous that maybe he wouldn't like my surprise or something would come up with his work and the timing wasn't going to work out or something drastically heartbreaking like that. But we woke up on Saturday morning and went for coffee at Panera Bread, just like normal. I do have to admit I barely remember anything that we talked about cause the whole time I was thinking, "Oh man should I tell him I have a surprise or no? Jon is on call, what if something happens and he gets called in to work? Oh man it's going to be Awesome! What if he isn't surprised?" I frantically tried to remember a movie where Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Anniston had a perfect script and asked sly, nonchalant questions about work schedules without giving away the surprise, but the only scenes I could remember were ones where the surprise had gone bad! Lol and that wasn't really helping my inner heart tremor so I decided to spill the beans.

     "Well Babe, what would you like to do after lunch? Do you have to work?" I asked nonchalantly. ;) "Oh well I do have to work a little but other than that I'm good with whatever." "Ok that's great because... well... I have a surprise and I'd like to take you somewhere!" "What?! A surprise for me?! What is it?" "Well, I can't say or else it wouldn't be a surprise! I think we should get all your work done and then go but it's a little ways away so I don't know if it's going to work with you being on call." "I can have someone cover for me so I shouldn't have to go in." (whew! That lifted a load off my chest!) So we scooted over to work with Jon asking questions the whole way about the surprise! My only response was, "Hmm great question, but I just don't know...! *wink, wink*
     Jon finished up all his work at the office and then off we went down the yellow brick road to our surprise destination. We pulled up about an hour later and I proudly announced we were at a Bed & Breakfast for a mini weekend getaway! The mountain lodge was perfect and had great scenic views complete with decks, fire places, outside jacuzzis, and wonderful staff. Jon was so surprised and couldn't believe I had planned this all for him! I had even smuggled a suitcase into the truck without him knowing.
     Our entire stay was so relaxing and romantic. We had an incredible dinner for two, relaxed in the jacuzzi, and had good heart to heart conversations. It was incredible not to have to think about work or cleaning up the apartment or running errands, but just to focus on us and enjoy each others undivided attention.

     I'm so glad it worked out for us to go and that everything went without a hitch. Now, I do have to confess I Googled "how to romance your husband" before I hatched my brilliant plan! Ha, I know, horrible right? But for all I knew he thought socks were romantic! I know how I defined romance but I had no idea what Jon thought romance was. It turns out Jon just wants to know I was thinking about him and that I planned a way for him to feel special. It could be anything from an I-was-thinking-about-you candy bar or filling up the gas tank in the truck or planning a trip like I did.
     Everyone just wants to know they are special to someone and were thought about from time to time. And I honestly believe that it's in the unexpected ways that that is communicated the best. Romance can be shown to anyone. Your mom, dad, best friend, or even a stranger (although I do recommend using a word other than "romance' if you plan on sending your mom flowers or giving a homeless guy a hamburger from McDonald's)

To be continued...

All in a Year

     I love houses filled with holiday cheer on Thanksgiving! The hugs and laughter are plenty to go around and loud cheering can always be heard from a living room full of men cheering for their favorite football team. Last minute preparations are being made in the kitchen while the Thanksgiving table is set with china bowls filled with creamy mashed potatoes, stuffing, sugared cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, and marshmallow sweet potatoes. Ding. Ding. The oven timer is shut off and the turkey pulled out, cooked to perfection. As we sit down the sparkling cider is poured and dinner is served. There is nothing like being with family and friends on a day set aside for remembering all we have to be grateful for.



     This past year has been an amazing one! There have been so many beautiful moments and lots of life changing events. I moved to New Mexico last fall, I met and went on a first date with Jon on October 7th, got engaged on December 26th, got married on May 26th, honeymooned in Jamaica, moved into our first apartment, then moved to Colorado and now here we are making a new life for ourselves! Last year I went snowboarding for the first time, went swimming during a thunderstorm, tried sushi (and hated it), went snorkeling and wind sailing, roasted mini marshmallows in a park, went off-roading, met the New England Patriot cheerleaders, and got a new car.
     I am incredibly grateful to have my best friend and husband be a part of my life. Jon has made me complete and helps me be a better person. We just celebrated out 6 month anniversary on the 26th and he still keeps me laughing and smiling and he understands me better than anyone I have ever known. He's the only person I know who would sit in the Best Buy parking lot on Black Friday for two hours (without complaining) just because he thought I wanted to shop there. (And I thought he wanted to shop there so when we finally figured out neither one of us wanted to be there only 10 minutes from the doors opening, we laughed about the situation then went home and snuggled instead.) He has helped me learn to love unconditionally and without regret. Without him I don't know where I'd be.
     I'm grateful for my family who I know I can always count on and the new family I gained this year! I'm grateful for sunsets, mountains, and coats for the cold winter days. I'm thankful for friends, opportunities, and life lessons.
     This year has been so full of memories and I'm blessed beyond measure. I can't wait to see what this next year brings!
Live. Laugh. Love.



Not a Freak-Out Woman

     Today I woke up and knew it was one of those days...of the month...that are NOT my favorite...if you know what I mean. Plus Jon was late for work so we were both in a slight mood. So, its on days like today that I have to check myself and remember the things that are most important to me. I'm working on building good, foundational habits that will hopefully come naturally later on down the road.
     As a single woman I never freaked out (ok well very rarely) but as a married woman I have gained quite a few more very big, redefining variables in my life. There's a loving husband, a shared bank account, bills, that type of thing. Anyway, when we first got married I freaked out A LOT because I wasn't the only one in charge of what went on in my life anymore. Ha, I remember the first few months of marriage when life was exciting because we got a pay check. It was money, glorious money!, and we would cash our checks and I would be so excited because we had money again! Then, bill day came faithfully every other week and WWHAAAWHHHAAAAwwaaAAAAAAAA! **sniff, sniff**  We ar-are bbroooooke! BwaaAHAAWAAAHHAA! Life-fe-fe-fe is h-hard-d-d! And I would cry my eyes out!
     Dear Jon always lovingly gave me 30 minutes to get it all out and I would get over it and be my normal happy self again (smiling, sweet, and unshakable) until pay day came around and then again, WWHAAAWHHHAAAAwwaaAAAAAAAA! **sniff, sniff**  We ar-are bbroooooke again! BwaaAHAAWAAAHHAA! **choke, cough cough**
     Lol I don't know what got into me because I'd be determined not to cry and freak out but as soon as I checked our account... Whew! Life was rough with only a little more than $500 of spending money every two weeks. ;) Anyway, I think I'm finally over that phase but really, for my emotional self, there's always something I could choose to freak out about. So I've been reading the book Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst and she has made quite a few good points.

"Brain research shows that every conscious thought we have is recorded on our internal hard drive known as the cerebral cortex. Each thought scratches the surface much like an Etch A Sketch. When we have the same thought again, the line of the original thought is deepened, causing what's called a memory trace. With each repetition the trace goes deeper and deeper, forming and embedding a pattern of thought. When an emotion is tied to this thought pattern, the memory trace grows exponentially stronger.

We forget most of our random thoughts that are not tied to an emotion. However, we retain the ones we think often that have an emotion tied to them. For example, if we've thought over and over that we are "unglued," and if that thought is tied to a strong emotion, we deepen the memory trace when we repeatedly access that thought [This also causes us to have the same reactions to the same type of situations]...We won't develop new responses until we develop new thoughts...The Bible encourages this process, which only makes sense because God created the human mind and understands better than anyone how it functions... 'Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will.' (Romans 12:2)

Scripture also teaches that we can accept or refuse thoughts. Instead of being held hostage by old thought patterns, we can actually capture our thoughts and allow the power of Christ's truth to change them: 'We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.' (2 Corinthians 10:5)

     I am not perfect , but I can make progress. What about you?

The Coupon Nazi

     Coupons! Oh, they are such a delightful way to get unsuspecting people to spend money they were planning on keeping in a nice safe bank somewhere. Its a chance for you to buy something you wouldn't normally buy, and you consider it only because it's on sale. It could be $5 off a dinner for two or 43¢ off a 50 pack of toilet paper but somehow the word SAVE just makes the world seem so much brighter!
     So in my case tonight, it was a free Chik-Fil-A chicken sandwich (with a  purchase of another sandwich of course). Lol I had told Jon I was feeling Chik-Fil-A and then I mentioned that I had a coupon. His response was, "Wait. Are we buying Chik-Fil-A because you have a coupon or because we feel like eating Chik-Fil-A?" I proudly responded, "Babe, we feel like eating Chik-Fil-A because I have a coupon!" Well this was a new concept for him and he thought it was hilarious! But it was so true! It had come in the mail a few days before so I'd already been dreaming of this meal for ages it seemed. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I didn't need to eat out, the more I wanted to "save money" by spending money to use my coupon! And I get caught every time. :)
     Every once in a while they do come in handy and man do I make good use of them! Jon jokes that he's gonna be the old man shoving the credit card into the Wal-Mart cashiers hands while I'm the little old  lady that holds everyone else up because I have to use all my coupons! And if I have a coupon for a restaurant but I forgot it at home, I can't eat at that particular place unless I have a coupon! (I was disappointed this past weekend when we went to The Outback because I had a coupon and we discovered when we were paying the bill that my coupon was only valid Monday thru Thursdays. Oh, that was such a hreatbreaker! But we enjoyed ourselves anyways)
     So I admit I'm a hopeless coupon pushover but if I am going to buy frozen veggies and there just happens to be a coupon then of course I'm going to use it!

RetailMeNot  Coupons.com
Here are some links to my favorite coupon websites. And if you can do it and not get addicted then I say, 'Happy couponing to you!"

Home...

Life Lesson Learned: Reviews, opinions, two cents worth, and a say in the matter are all very important, especially when looking to rent an apartment.

     This weekend, Jon and I had a day off to spend together and we decided to go apartment shopping! We weren't neccessarily ready to move out of our basement situation but we wanted to see what was out there. Now, I have to admit apartments in Denver are waaay more expensive than in Albuquerque so when we saw a sign that said some apartments were on special for a price we could afford, we decided to stop by Hocus Pocus Park Apartments* (name changed for reasons unbeknownst to even me) ;)
     Anyway, we stopped by their front office asked about pricing and specifics and utilities, etc. Then we got the Grand Tour. Jon and I became more impressed by the minute! There was an indoor basketball court, gym, pools and hot tubs, Zumba classes, a cafe, tennis courts, and multiple parks! The actual units had fireplaces and washers/dryers, dishwashers and a patio. This place was incredible! Our tour guide was nice and everyone waved as we passed by, it was the perfect place for us.
     Jon and I are firm believers in asking for an outside opinion. This seemed too good to be true, but we didn't want to get swept away by desires and emotions so we talked to my parents and asked them what they thought.

"Hey Mom and Dad! We found the perfect place and its right at our budget so we won't be able to save a lot but seriously its amazing! You should see the place!..."

     And the conversation went on. In the end, we all agreed it seemed perfect for us, but we wanted to sleep on it and pray about it. Cause there was just something about it...
     The next morning we woke up and talked about it a little. When Jon left for work I was still thinking about it and began to ask God if He thought it was a good idea. This had to be a quick decision and also a long commitment, who knew if that place was really all it was played up to be. God began to bring to mind different scenarios when we'd had to make decisions before and we got multiple opinions and reviews, so I Googled it. "Hocus Pocus Park Apartment Reviews"
     Oh My GOODNESS! You will not believe what I read! Out of like the ten review websites I pulled up almost everyone said, "Do Not, DO Not, DO NOT, live there!" Everyone had complaints about management and how nothing ever got fixed. Apparently its almost impossible to leave even if your lease is up and they slap fees on you like "Hail Mary's" in morning mass! Everyone is always drunk because of the cafe drinks and no one cares if you are married or not they just want to hook up! Plus all the major sex offenders in the area happen to live there!
     I texted Jon immediately and we were both blown away! We couldn't believe that something that looked so nice on the outside could be so rotten on the inside! This goes to say you really can't "judge a book by its cover".

     We were protected by God and other people's reviews. And I'm so glad we didn't move there. But its definitely a good reminder of why we pray about things and don't make major decisions off a whim. So, we are still living in the basement, at least for now, but you know...

     "Home is where the Heart is."

     And my heart is with Jon so we are living in the perfect place, even now. :)

Live. Laugh. Love.

A Bloom to My Gloom

This past week has been, well... interesting. It all started with a pain in my cheek that felt like an earache or like I had slept wrong. The slight pain continued on for a bit but continued to get worse until finally I woke one morning with the right side of my face and neck swollen to three times their normal size! So one slightly hysterical freaking out spell, two eccentric trying not to cry phone calls, and 3 fat as a chipmunk pictures later my official diagnosis was The MUMPS. That's right! Even with the vaccine, I managed to attain a case of the Mumps! (My grammy said, "You know you have the mumps when you can't pronounce the word mumps correctly." Haha that was me!)
So needless to say I was very irritable. And when I'm irritable I get grumpy, and when I'm grumpy I get unreasonable and when I'm unreasonable my poor husband suffers. I was so busy gabbing on about the chicken noodle soup and lemonade that I didn't get that I forgot to thank him for the movies he brought back for me. I forgot to notice all the sweet kisses cause I was whining about not being able to lay down without my face hurting.
I don't have many friends in this new city just yet and so I don't get many opportunities to brag on my dear Jon but I would like to share some of  my favorite things about him! I came up with this list the other day cause I was tired of being grumpy and upset and I just needed a way to help my glooms bloom. :) So here we go!

10 - Compliments me and tells me I'm pretty (even in pajamas with no make-up!)
9 - Listens and comments but doesn't interrupt
8 - Is fun and funny (we are always laughing!)
7 - Dances in the kitchen with me
6 - He's honest and open
5 - Asks for my opinions and cares about my feelings
4 - Strong. :) He can open any jar and I know I can count on him when I need a shoulder to lean on
3 - Smothers me with hugs and kisses!
2 - Super unselfish. He'll wake up to go out in the snow to get something from the car that I need. And he always likes it to be my choice for dinner, a movie, etc.
1 - Leads me in a godly way because I always see Jesus in him.